If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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