are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
