About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
