he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
