Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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