I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize