Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
