I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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