Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
