I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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