I faked an abortion last night.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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