well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize