wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
