Three words: puerto rican gang bang
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
foreskin is a definite game changer
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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