Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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