you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
