I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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