I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
