I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Too much gin, very little bucket
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
