The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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