I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
