How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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