who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
