Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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