i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
