Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
