No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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