just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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