I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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