Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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