Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
