please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
