ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
