I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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