would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
