I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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