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Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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