Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
