that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I skipped work to stalk him.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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