When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
