Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
