Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize