We're like a lot better than the average bears
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
