worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
its liver damage thursday
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
