Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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