Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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