i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
