we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
