He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
