Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
