pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
