So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
