Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize