It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
