We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
