We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
