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So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
