yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
