I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize