no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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