I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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