I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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