yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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