i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
